I Used To Write Love Songs

You know those people who are ridiculously in love and just can't stop talking about it? It's like...somehow the sky is always the perfect shade of blue. The sun literally follows them around...even at night time. The moon tugs on their heart as powerfully as it pulls the tides. Even when it's raining, it's not annoying because each drop of water carries a rainbow reflection of the bigger picture. That person can see romance and beauty in a single daisy pushing up from the crack in a filthy sidewalk. Even just writing about this stuff makes their heart do flip flops!!! Hahahahaha

You see, I used to write love songs. I believed in a love that was so strong, so deep, and so perfect that it could draw two people from across the globe into a moment that would change their lives in one instant. I would stand next to an ocean and experience the passionate love of the Creator, knowing that somewhere there was someone as impressed with Him as I was. I would lay in the grass and try to count the stars while remembering the prophetic words, the promises, the hopes, the dreams, and even the realities that made me believe it was more than just possible. I would take an amazing movie and re-write the ending to be even better and then swear it was actually in the script.

I actually believed 2 little single girls could show up on the scene in NYC and see a cultural revolution. I had the audacity to believe we could rise above what society around us defined as "the solid facts." I was that girl...the one some might label as having a "Pollyanna", "everything's puppy dogs and rainbows", "out of touch with reality" view of life that would do nothing more than set me up for disappointment. I was that larger than life lover who simply wouldn't take anything less than the "happily ever after" in life, love, work and play. That was me.

Then, reality set in. The truth came exploding into my daydream. My little happy bubble popped. The sky opened up, birds started chiming in to what the angels were singing, the clouds started painting love notes about my smile, and my heart had wings like a hummingbird.....ALL OF A SUDDEN, I woke up from the dream! The alarm clock screamed into my moment and jolted me back to my NOW...the TRUTH...the FACTS...the CONSTANT...the REAL...planet Earth.

I laughed OUT LOUD because I realized I had set my expectations too low and needed to turn it up a notch to even begin to touch HIS REALITY EXPLODING INTO MINE. Then, I laughed some more, smiled the biggest smile, and knew I was even more in love than I was before.

Passion Cannot Stay Under Wraps Forever

I should be packing for a trip to California right now that I leave for in 3 hours, but my heart is bursting with color and passion. The story of my life is beautiful and flawed, as most perfect masterpieces are. The fun thing about where I am "living" now is that after years of putting a "safety" lid on my passion, it has now grown with such beautiful fury that there is no container big enough to hold it.

Just flashed back to being a little girl sitting in my mama's art studio with a tiny red hammer in one hand and a paintbrush in the other. When you are immersed in an atmosphere of creativity and given a blank canvas, it will literally pull on your greatness and beckon you to ignore all limits. It is in that place that you really have no choice but to fly, dance, invent, and create, even if sometimes you ask for a few lines to color inside.

Like most people (besides Peter Pan), I grew up, though many would argue that point. I have always carried a measure of freedom and been extremely passionate, but at some point let fear and intimidation creep into the cabin of my heart. What was once fleshed out in innocent randomness, got more complicated with rules attached and goals to reach. The passion needed to be a little more contained and less messy in order to make sure everyone was comfortable. Hmmmm...sounds yucky to to even write those words, but it's what happened...hahahaha....but just for a little while.

There were miracles of color, dreams, passion, and even flying that left spectacular road marks in the story of my life and that are responsible for breaking me out of that silly box of fear that had covered the mysteriously intricate cabin of my heart. Now, I am happy to say that I have gracefully matured back into that beautiful imperfect child. I am the one with an awkward dance that continues to lead me through the romance of the life of a surrendered girl, who is nothing special, but just has the audacity to say yes to her LOVE and MAKER.

Just like most of the important moments of my life, I find myself again at a cliff, excited and a little nervous to jump off into the unknown world of trust and even greater passion. The only thing I know with certainty is the safety of His hand to catch me. One of my greatest loves is to take as many people as I can to the cliff and teach them to fly and dance on the wind. I have learned that fear has no wings, so it's good to jump off cliffs now and then while laughing hysterically at what's left behind you. 

Falling recklessly into His heart is just the best thing ever. Let's do it together...me and you. I have a feeling it's gonna be really BIG and really FUN. Here's the deal...I will totally go without you, but it would be way more awesome to take the leap in mass.

There are MOMENTS that are "GAME CHANGERS"

There are moments in your life that are "game changers." This weekend was that for me. The crazy thing about it is that this has been a regular occurrence lately. Anyone who has walked with me for the last month and a half has seen the REAL Aaron emerge more and more every day. I thought she was already on the scene until God surprisingly put a mirror in front of me in a way I never thought possible. I saw me. I saw me the way He saw me. Then, something beautiful happened. Simply...I fell in love. I fell in love with me...Aaron the girl...the daughter...the lover...the friend...the creator...the pastor...the one who God chose to be the object of His affection.

That moment changes everything. The filters disappear and you realize that YOU are the one God is talking about...the one who sits in Heavenly places with Him...the one who was created in His image...the one who was created to be the BEST receiver there ever was. The joy and happiness you walked in before moves from just being a beautiful jacket you can take on and off, to becoming like your skin. In fact, it becomes the very fiber of your being. It doesn't depend on "good news" to keep it, and it won't be shaken when the "stuff of life" makes an offering. Awww....I am wrecked by LOVE and wrecked by JOY.

So, back to this weekend....I was in the presence of 3 heroes who stirred my heart. One was a beautiful man who raises the dead for fun and picks fights with devils because he knows the power of his God. In thinking about the marvels of what this man walks in, I remembered what God called me to do. Then, God very gently asked me, "So Aaron...how many dead people have you actually prayed for lately?" OK...it's time to be normal and do what Jesus did.

Then, a mother, a general, and a woman of God who rescues babies from brothels and actually changes the economic structure of entire regions by co-laboring with the Creator blew on the flame that was already inside me and a volcano began to erupt. Nothing major...just saying "YES" to God, taking the first step, and watching God explode HIS reality. Game on!!

And lastly, but with probably the most impact...there was a beautiful 9 year old little girl who gave me at least 10 perfect hugs throughout the weekend. She looked at me like I was a hero and it made me want to be one more than anything. I told her that she was extraordinary and would make history and she believed me. Perfect!!!!